*screaming*
LOOK AT THEM!
MERCY
when you happen to mention never personally wanting to have kids and someone decides to butt in and remind you not to worry and that “you’ll change your mind in time”
Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth
This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
Happy 5th birthday, you idiot.
And I took twenty years off of it because you’re actually a five year old.
Ilu you little dumb English shit.









